Have you ever made a mistake that you think might have ruined everything? Or have things just not gone as planned and now you’re worried you’ve wasted your efforts, talent, and time? Because that was me when I took these photos of Sarah, Jess, and Lily. I had really wanted to take photos in the snow and Sarah happily agreed. I was so stoked! But when we set out for our photoshoot, the weather really kicked up. Snow was blowing in our faces, the wind sent our hair out in every direction, and our fingers were red from the cold. I started to let myself think I had wasted everyone’s time.
I’ve been in a situation like this many times, some more intense than others, and I’m learning how to embrace those feelings of failure and frustration, and then allowing them to become feelings of gratitude and growth instead. I’m a rather anxious person, so honestly I can’t even begin to tell you all the little mishaps my brain twists into a catastrophe, using each moment as evidence in an ongoing PowerPoint presentation titled “Why You Will Always be a Flop: A Detailed, Lengthy Study of Ali Dating Back to Her Oldest Memories" compiled and presented by my anxiety. It’s a really agonizing experience that leaves me feeling beat down. However, it doesn’t always have to play out that way!
If you’ve ever experienced something similar, worry not! Here are some tips to embrace any storm (quite literally during this photo shoot) and create something great out of it:
- Realize life is never as personal as you think:
Take a step back and realize this event probably has a lot less to do with you than you think. I think mistakes or a wrong turn can feel so awful because we believe it’s a reflection of ourselves. Maybe this event is actually evidence as to why we aren’t good enough (as my anxiety likes to suggest) and that’s the part that makes a mistake seem like such a negative experience. Really, it probably means something else that has very, very little to do with you. It can be hard to see our life this way because it’s our life. Our life does seem to revolve around us, but we all know the world, in fact, doesn’t revolve around us. So, apply this knowledge to any disappointing situations in your life. It’s not about you. It’s just the world unfolding and you happen to be involved. You know what does actually revolve around you? Your attitude and outlook, which will ultimately decide how you will handle the situation. This is a pretty powerful thought when we realize it! During this photo shoot, the mishap meant that Mother Nature decided to send a little extra stormy weather to our town. That’s it! She doesn’t have anything against me. She’s not even trying to test me. Mother Nature just functions on her own accord and I happened to be involved. It doesn’t mean I’m terrible because I couldn’t predict the weather better. Sure, I could have cancelled the photo shoot, but I love these photos and I’m so glad I didn’t! Realizing that life is never as personal as you think helps you see you can’t control everything around you, but one thing you can control is your perspective!
- Reframe your perspective:
The next step (and probably the biggest because of its difficulty) is shifting your perspective to make room for the opportunity to grow! Instead of thinking, “Oh man, why can’t things just go my way? Why is this always happening? Why do I have to deal with this again?” test out saying to yourself, “Oh, here’s another opportunity to practice __________.” Of course, you would fill in the blank with whatever you would like to practice in your life! Perhaps you want to practice creative thinking (i.e. creative problem solving), or speaking up for yourself and using your voice, or remaining calm. During this shoot, I realized I had an opportunity to practice creative thinking. Yes, I have the chance to practice this a lot, but the point is, once I shift my perspective then I can become excited by my opportunity rather than disappointed by a blunder. I think this takes the most work. Sometimes you might be able to flip your point of view quickly, but other times you just take a little longer. There’s nothing wrong with that! Take your time and put a lot of effort into finding a new way to see your situation. It might be tough at times, but once I can do this, it keeps me moving forward towards a very important goal of mine: growth!
- Update your goals & Redefine Success:
Sometimes, when we’re caught up in the moment we can become disconnected from our true goals. We’re so fixated on one ideal outcome that we let that define our sense of success. However, most of us don’t truly see success as limited to one task! Most people I’ve talked to see success as personal, ever changing, and mostly related to emotions. Maybe you’ve made a mistake. But do you see yourself as successful for being perfect without any slip-ups or are you successful as long as you keep growing and improving while having a good time? When I take a step back from being so critical of myself, I realize that what I really care about is my growth personally and professionally while enjoying myself. So, if I notice an inner voice being harsh and negative, I remind myself of my true idea of success. I update my current goals to be in alignment with that definition of success and now I have a chance to turn the situation into something great!
- Find at least one positive:
Here is where you can discover what greatness will be sprouting from your mistake and dig up a bit of gratitude! What sort of positive or beneficial outcome has occurred? Everything else really has been answering this question for you, so reflect on all the previous points. What goal have you been able to achieve that you weren’t able to see before? What opportunity did you find even during this time of frustration? I got some awesome photos during our shoot and did it during a situation that was probably less than ideal. That alone is a positive for me, but I found out a storm can be ideal, which is a shift in attitude that I might not have discovered if it weren’t for the storm. Finding at least one positive thing to come out of your situation brings a sense of gratitude that will honestly just make you feel good!
I’m grateful I embraced the storm and transformed feelings of failure and frustration into feelings of success, gratitude, and growth. When was a time that you were able to move your darker feelings into more inspiring ones? If you’re currently experiencing a moment like this, then I hope these steps can help you move into a more empowering position.
