Share more, consume less is a motto that can be implemented in many parts of our lives, in ways we might not really consider at first. Let's knock out the biggest and probably scariest way right now!
If you just take a glance at the slideshow or photos below you are probably thinking, "How can one person be so beautiful/precious/adorable/glow-y?" To which I would say, "You don't even know the half of it!!!" Sometimes I hear people say their friends are sunshine personified and I don't know what they mean. Are they friendly? Is their smile blinding? Do they have a really high fever that maybe needs medical attention?
After getting to know Saleena I understood the saying a little more. Although, I prefer to describe her as a sunbeam straight to your face (you cannot ignore the presence of Saleena and I wouldn't want to). I wish I was capable of pinpointing exactly what it is about Saleena the Sunbeam that makes her so, but I never could figure it out. Until, I saw the little slogan stuck to every stranded, yellow Ofo bike in Tempe, "Share More, Consume Less". The Ofo bike slogan is talking about commercialism and transportation, but I don't think it's magic has to just stop there.
Saleena is constantly sharing herself, who she really is, with everyone around her. This was what drew me to her. She doesn’t make it hard to get to know her or to be able to relate to her; she puts it all out there. There’s no hiding her personality or trying to be anything other than herself. You can take the time to get to know more about her life or her thoughts, but you don’t have to try and dig up her personality. Which, I think is something that a lot of us don’t do. We either hide to protect ourselves or try to deflect in a way so we can feel cooler and more important around others.
But get this: when we try to appear cooler or get the approval of other people, we're actually consuming! We want to take in and consume the acceptance of others; we need their attention. I find myself doing this at times and it always feels kind of off. Have you ever noticed yourself doing this? Doesn’t it feel weird?! I can’t really enjoy the company I’m in when I’m so focused and concerned about how I’m presenting myself. I think it’s rather taxing when we set out to consume attention or approval from others because let’s be truthful, once you get approval, it’s not enough. You have to keep going.
If instead we are being honest, allowing our true selves to show, then we shift to sharing! Which in turn opens up those around us to share who they really are too. Sure, there will probably be someone thinking, “Wow, this person is too much, what a dork.” But, I’m going to go ahead and guess they are a consumer. If they were a sharer they would either A) just be stoked that someone else was out here being open and honest too or B) think, “Cool, I know who that person is and they’re not really my cup of tea” and move on their way! Can you imagine what life would be like if we were all sharers? It’s sounds pretty nice to me! This kind of sharing ourselves takes vulnerability though, which can be a little intimidating at first, so if you’re needing a bit of encouragement or some small steps to take, here are a few suggestions:
- Be Present! First things first, shake off the consumerism. When you focus on the present moment you can take note of what you do out of seeking acceptance. When you start to notice the little actions you take to gain other’s approval, then you can begin to put a stop to them! They’ve probably become habits, so you’ll need to be mindful, but once you start to undo these behaviors you’ll be a little more open to sharing.
- Share Your Feelings! And I mean all of them, not just the happy ones. There is a lot of talk about negativity and cutting out those negative, toxic friends, but let’s not confuse darker emotions for pessimism. Negativity is when someone is constantly tearing something down, telling you other people, ideas, or hobbies are lame and dumb. Being sad, angry, or lonely is not negativity! Those are normal human emotions, which can even be shared in positive ways. Make a joke about being irritated or just let out a big sigh and exclaim your irritation. Either way, you’re letting yourself be more vulnerable and sharing yourself with others. If people are allowing themselves to be vulnerable back, then they are probably going to be able to relate with your feelings and... Ta-da, you know have both shared a little bit!
- Ask TRUE questions! Yes, sharing is not just about you, you, you. Sometimes sharing yourself means sharing your ability to listen! This is a big one for me and I'm still figuring out how to tackle it. During conversations we often like to respond with our own experience or anecdote, but sometimes it’s nice to stay focused on the other person. Ask them questions to further learn more about their story instead of rushing into your own points. There's a couple people in my life who will text me a link to an article or event that they think I would enjoy after a conversation we have and even that makes me feel so heard. Showcase the side of you that is a great listener (I'm looking at you, Ali)!
So, let’s all take a page from Saleena’s book and embrace the idea of “Share More, Consume Less” in a new way. How will you start to share more in your life?
xx Ali
