Finding Balance with Bees

Bumble bee with visible pollen sacs near the Copper River in Alaska

Most days, my mind is up in the sky, dreaming and thinking. My dad used to do this impression of “the squirrel” in my head. He’d run around in circles, squeaking, chirping, and flailing his arms. He told me he only knew I had a squirrel in my head because he had one too. Whenever I’m sharing all the thoughts pinging around in my brain and my struggle to focus he tells me to “quiet the squirrel”. Something I find very challenging to do.

There’s a lot to think about constantly – how do I chase my dreams, how can I be a better person, what is that bug flying around my head and what is its place in the world?  Weirdly enough (or maybe perfectly enough) it’s the crazy never ending squirrel thoughts in my head that eventually bring me to pause. I have a hard time meditating with my eyes closed in a quiet room and feeling really good afterwards. I feel more displaced and empty. But an outdoor meditation, staring at bugs and birds and random critters? That feels right. It’s the spinning whirlpool of thoughts that have guided me to this practice.

The intimidating “bee”

When working at summer camp in Arizona, I’d be sitting outside between programs soaking in the sun, wondering how I would fit my life long to do list in and also take the time to focus on me and my mental health. I’d be feeling guilty for taking the time to pause. At the same time I’d be feeling guilty for constantly thinking about work. My fragmented relationships and the idea that I’m weird and no one can really connect with me would pop in too. Then a strange bug would appear. My favorite of all my seasons was a big, fat orange and spikey nectar-drinking fly. At first I thought it must be some kind of terrifying and very dangerous bee. I mean, do you see it? Bright orange and SPIKEY?! Definitely seems like nature’s warning. I started taking pictures of them and scrolling through Google searches to figure out what they were. I could never figure out a scientific name, just the generic idea that they were flies that drank nectar, but I figured out something even more important.

My search took me through websites dedicated to bees, bee look-a-likes, and larvae. I learned that bees have two sets of wings and look-a-likes generally have one pair of wings. I also learned that I was slightly obsessed with bees and their look-a-likes too. Maybe not quite as obsessed as people who cataloged pictures and created websites, but obsessed enough to be really grateful someone else was that obsessed. More importantly, I learned how much I enjoyed this whole process. The process of finding something I didn’t understand, marveling at it, researching it, and as it turned out somehow stepping away from all the anxious self-questioning thoughts in my mind. It’s a practice I still find myself doing today in two ways:

Enjoying another meditative moment of sorts during a work break at outdoor camp in Arizona

1.     I’m able to remember these facts when I see bees now, which pulls me into this sort of meditation. I pause, think of all the cool things I’ve learned about bees, and smile in appreciation of how cool they are. And also smile in appreciation of how my crazy thoughts got me here. My non-stop thoughts usually disperse and I can breathe. I’d spot these bees all over while doing environmental education in Northern Arizona and take a sighting as a reminder to pause.

2.     Sometimes I notice something new about bees that gets me thinking and I turn to the internet again for answers. I find myself uncovering more fun facts that connect me to my “meditative” headspace. Last summer in Alaska, I was visiting a friend’s fish wheel at the Copper River when I noticed a bumble bee buzzing around. I paused and appreciated it. Just the other day I was visited over and over again by a bee look-a-like and it was the catalyst for this whole reflection!

Either way, I’ve learned about the balance between my own buzzing thoughts and being able to pause for the small moments. Moments that fill me up with joy, appreciation, fascination and wonder. Not just for the natural world, but for the squirrel scurrying around in my head too.

Feeling Scared? Uncertain? Here’s How You Can Calm Your Mind.

Change can bring around a lot of uncertainty and fear. And currently there is a lot of change happening in our world! But it can be even more challenging to bring around positive and empowering change when our thinking is fear-based. I’ve been noticing my anxiety and panic going up when I think too far ahead about this current situation. Maybe you have as well!  

At first I didn’t think much of this new virus. I was one of the people comparing it to the common cold or flu and figured things would blow over. Last week, I was far away on an island in the Bering Sea, where I personally had very little connection to the rest of the world. I couldn’t imagine that things were really shutting down. Everything seemed as usual on the island!

Now, I realize a lot is different and it’s a situation to be taken seriously. But that doesn’t mean it’s a situation that has to be faced with panic and fear. In fact, unless I’m in immediate danger, panic and fear has never really helped me face any situation. It doesn’t help me in the long haul. What helps me instead, is feeling empowered. 

I’ve been hearing from lots of friends and fellow freelancers about the struggles they’re facing in the novel coronavirus pandemic. These are new challenges that need new solutions. We’re stepping out of our normal and into an unknown. It can be hard to think creatively or innovatively when you’re in panic mode. For me, thinking clearly happens when my mind and body is calm. So how can you move away from fear, find inner peace, and allow yourself to feel empowered even in trying and uncertain times?

1.    Give yourself some understanding and acceptance.

Fear is important. It’s a healthy emotion. It’s normal and okay to be scared. So, there’s no need to beat yourself up about your emotions. They’re essential to life. Fear is what tells you to wash your hands – it’s helpful! Where the emotion of fear becomes harmful is when we make decisions solely out of panic. Or even when we freeze up and refuse to make decisions because of our fright. In order to move past fear-based thinking, I usually have to start by saying to myself, “I’m feeling scared.” The acknowledgment really helps. You can’t really deal with something until you accept what it is. 

2.    Breathe – let the fear go.

Now, take a big, deep inhale. Breathe in for as long as you can. Hold for a moment. And exhale absolutely everything out. To me, this is about so much more than calming my mind through deep breaths. It’s also symbolic. The long exhale is about releasing an emotion that isn’t helpful anymore  – an idea my dad is big on. He’s told me for a very long, “Let go of that which no longer serves you.” You’ve acknowledged your fear, appreciated what it’s shown you, and now you let it go! The goal is to move away from fear to make room for a feeling of empowerment.

 3.    Seek out the growth that you can control.

When I feel empowered, I’m focusing on myself and the growth that I can control. Fear can feel so limiting, but the possibility of change is inspiring. Figure out where you would like to grow in the different parts of your life – interpersonal relationships, hobbies, your inner self, business, or work – there are a lot of options. Make a list of areas you’d like to see growth in your life. Curiosity is a great tool for growth. Get curious about yourself, life, community solutions and see where that inquisitiveness can take you. Allowing yourself to feel empowered, even if it’s about something small, can give you an emotional boost to steady yourself on in other areas of your life.

Even if we are feeling nervous, uncertain, or scared, we can turn inwards and move forward. Life is challenging, but it doesn’t have to be faced with fear. If you notice more anxiety in your life, an inability to make decisions, or overwhelming emotions of any kind, then I hope you can take these steps and make a little more room for positive and empowering change in your life, no matter how big or small.

Kayaking Valdez Glacier Lake | How to Choose a Kayaking Tour

Sea kayaking in Alaska was not exactly on my bucket list, mostly for one reason – I figured it would be too pricey for my budget. I like to dream big, but I do also like to dream about outdoor adventures that lean more towards free, haha. :) Yet, life had different plans. I guess more like my roommate, Noelle, had different plans! We wanted to get out of Glennallen for the weekend and set our sights on the coastal town Valdez. She wanted to go sea kayaking and with a little bit of Google searching/phone calling she was able to find an affordable trip and talk me into going too. I’m so glad she did.

We ended up kayaking in Valdez Glacier Lake among floating iceberg chunks. Adjusting to paddling and steering the sea kayak together was a funny challenge, but one I think Noelle and I could accomplish! We docked our kayaks a couple times, hopping out to hike around the area. Along our trip we saw ice caves, mini waterfalls, and a spectacular view of Valdez Glacier and its medial moraines. During one of our short hikes we found ourselves being dive bombed by a seabird of some kind. We realized it must be trying to protect a nest nearby, so we tried to get away as soon as possible to allow it to relax… While also being as careful as possible because we had no idea where the nest was and didn’t want to find ourselves walking in it! This area isn’t considered a big ground nesting area as far as I’ve seen or our guide knew, so if you find yourself stumbling upon wildlife like we did and causing it distress, just give it more space.

 Now maybe you also want to book a kayaking tour too. Well awesome! Then I have some tips to help you book and go on the best trip you can:

• Decide What’s Most Important: As I’m sure you know if you’ve started searching for kayaking tours, there are a ton of options out there. Deciding what you really want out of your trip will help narrow down your choices. How much time do you want to spend out kayaking vs. hiking? What are you hoping to see or get out of your trip? How much money do you want to spend? The main priority for Noelle and I was get out kayaking within our budget. However, we also wanted to go sea kayaking and see fun marine wildlife we couldn’t see on land! If you’re heading to Valdez, then there are two sea kayaking groups out there with pretty much the exact same prices. So, peruse their websites, give them a call, and figure out which group is right for your schedule and needs for a kayaking tour!

• Make Your Needs Known: Once you know what you want, now’s your chance to make it known before booking! From what we read Noelle and I thought we would be sea kayaking in a place where we would be able to see otters. As we were packing up gear with our guide, we made some jokes about kayaking in the sea and he quickly corrected us that we would be going to a lake… Uh what? Haha. When we asked what wildlife we would see he told us, “Eagles and seagulls.” Oops. This is why I would definitely suggest communicating all your top priorities to your guides. Even if you’ve read their website or print materials (like we did!) you never know if a certain tour was changed around a little bit and instead of being on sea would be on a lake! If we had said, “We’re really interested in this tour for it’s price, being on the sea, and marine wildlife viewing opportunities,” then maybe someone could have let us know that particular tour was now scheduled for a lake.

• Show up Early & Prepared: Whatever tour group you end up going with will probably have a suggested checklist of items you should bring for your tour. If not a Google search would give you lots of other suggestions too. Basics would be wool or polyester (not cotton) top and bottom, a warm jacket (again not cotton), rain gear, a hat, and lots of snacks. Cotton keeps you colder when it gets wet, than wool, silk or synthetic material like polyester and out kayaking you are bound to get a little water on your someway or another. This is also why I like bringing an extra pair of clothes to change into afterwards. I like being comfy!

• General Safety Tips: After looking into kayaking tours you might notice that some places additionally offer just kayak rentals, no guides. You can talk to those groups and see if the area you want to kayak is within your level of skill and knowledge to decide if this is the route you want to go. Even if you’ve been kayaking before, but you’re a little unsure about being in a new situation, I would definitely suggest going with a guide. I’ve been kayaking before, but never near glaciers. It adds a whole new area I had no expertise in. I felt a lot more comfortable with a guide who had more knowledge of our surroundings. Some groups won’t rent just kayaks to you without certifications too. Even with a guide, don’t do something that makes you uncomfortable! Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone is a good thing, but you get to decide how you feel in each new moment. Maybe stepping outside of your box has felt great in the past, but if the present moment feels off, go with your gut and give yourself some peace of mind. Some moments I feel braver than others, so if you had caught me on a different day I might have said no to the ice cave for whatever reason and that would have been fine.

• Bonus Tip: If you’re a local in a touristy area or you work in the tourism industry, it never hurts to ask if there are any local discounts or tourism industry discounts. This isn’t always the case, so I definitely don’t expect any special “complimentary” pricing, but it does happen. Some friends had pointed this out to me recently and while it’s not my norm to ask these types of questions, I’ve learned you don’t lose anything by asking.

If you have any questions about kayaking tours in Alaska, let me know in the comments. I might be able to give you some helpful ideas or suggestions!

My 5 Favorite Places to #OptOutside in Arizona

Thanksgiving week is upon us, which means soon enough - Black Friday. A day of deals, early morning openings, stampedes, and terrifying accounts later heard on the news. A day that never felt right to me. I hated hearing about the Black Friday aftermath on the news. Especially after a day we’re encouraged to show gratitude. Thankfully (is this considered punny?), there are organizations that choose a different value for the day after Thanksgiving. Like REI.  

Since 2015, REI has encouraged folks to reconnect with the outdoors over the holiday weekend through their campaign, #OptOutside. Every year they close down their stores to business, paying their employees to instead enjoy some quality time out in the fresh air and inspiring customers to do the same. CEO Jerry Stritzke explains, "As a member-owned co-op, our definition of success goes beyond money. We believe that a life lived outdoors is a life well lived and we aspire to be stewards of our great outdoors." Getting a holiday weekend off isn’t a privilege we all have, but if it’s one you find yourself with this week, here’s my 5 favorite places in Arizona to #OptOutside.

Oak Creek in Sedona: Oak Creek makes for a beautiful hike or a perfect spot to relax near. Bring a towel, chair, or hammock along with some snacks and you can sit or lie by the creek for some “chill out” time. It’s fun to read, write, or draw and of course take a dip in the creek. There are multiple spots in Sedona where you can hang out by Oak Creek. My favorite spots usually involve a little bit of a hike, but anywhere usually puts me in a nice relaxed state of mind. If you’re looking for more of a hike check out West Fork Trail. If you want to get in the water, then look into Slide Rock State Park. Both need parking passes, so make sure you bring cash. Wanting some more options? Just do a quick Google Search! Keep in mind, no matter where you go there are some really important guidelines when recreating near sources of water. For one, if you have to go to the bathroom, be at least 200 feet away from water. The same goes for washing anything with soap, shampoo, or toothpaste, even if it’s biodegradable. When can all do our part to avoid affecting wildlife or taking away from other visitors’ experience when we prevent water pollution!

The Salt River in Mesa: Another great area for hiking or relaxing. But it doesn’t just stop there. You can paddleboard, kayak, or lazily float down the river. I’ve even seen people on a blow up mattress drifting along the Salt River, haha. Make sure you’re prepared for paddling or swimming in the area you’d like to go though! There are lots of picnic tables nearby too, so this would be a great spot for a picnic. Follow Leave No Trace ethics if you plan on packing along some food as well as the tips listed above. Take a peek at the Tonto National Forest website to find where you’d like to spend your time at the Salt River. Wherever you go, keep your eyes peeled for rope swings that you can use to swing yourself into the water! Note: The more recent times I’ve been to the Salt River I haven’t taken photos, but soaked up the scenery instead. So, enjoy these older photos where I somehow convinced my friends to model for me ;)

3. The Grand Canyon: This National Park has hiking, scenic views, and ranger led activities. Every time I’ve been to the Grand Canyon, I’ve chosen to walk around, completely ignoring any park activities. I have to admit that before working for the National Park Service, I never considered going to a ranger led walk or completing a Jr. Ranger book. Now, though, I do think these are really fun! Get a “passport” stamp, fill out a Jr. Ranger book to get your ranger badge, and go to presentations that the rangers are giving. You’ll probably learn new things and have a good time along the way. Anyone who thinks this is weird is probably just missing out like past Ali was!

4. The Superstition Mountains: If you like cacti, look into hikes in the Superstition Mountains! The springtime brings lots of gorgeous blooms in this area, but our current fall/winter season has some nice cool breezes to refresh you on your desert adventure. Whether you want a long or short hike, you’ll be able to find multiple options around here. All with lovely views. I have a short video about the hike at Hieroglyphics Trail, so take a look at that to get some ideas of the fun you can discover out at the Superstitions. Do some research to find the trailhead that will be best for you and remember to bring water! Even though the weather is nicer than usual, that desert sun will still leave you parched and you don’t want to get dehydrated out there.

5. San Tan Mountain Regional Park: Another great spot for desert lovers. You can hike at this park for a small entry fee. The price fluctuates depending on which entrance you use and how you choose to get there (car, bike, or by foot). I’ve been to all three access points and can say I love them all. My mom lives nearby, so I’ve spent a lot of time exercising and reflecting along these trails. I don’t always love having to pay for a place that feels like my backyard, but I have to remind myself it’s an important “donation” to help maintain an area so many of us love. If you’re not interested in the small admittance fee, then even parking and exploring a nearby area outside the park will lead to fun discoveries. My family and I would sometimes pile in the car and drive around to find a place to explore. We’ve come across cholla forests, bones and skulls, and beautiful views.

Arizona has so many various landscapes, that there’s just too many places to list here! Between all the public lands in the state, you could spend a lifetime uncovering all the unique corners of my Southwest home. These places suggested above are my favorite because they are nearby Flagstaff or Phoenix and don’t require a ton of advance planning. In Phoenix, I’d often hop into my car after work, drive to the Salt River, and take a little moment for myself. In Flagstaff, I could decide on a last minute whim to head south to Sedona or up north to the Grand Canyon. If you have some more time to plan, take a look at all the National Forests, Parks, Monuments, and public lands available to you in Arizona! Either way, take the opportunity to #OptOutside if you can. The theme for this year’s campaign is cleaning up. Wherever you go, consider bringing a bag and some gloves to clean up any trash you see along the way. Let me know your favorite places to spend outside or if you end up going to one of these suggestions.