Feeling Scared? Uncertain? Here’s How You Can Calm Your Mind.

Change can bring around a lot of uncertainty and fear. And currently there is a lot of change happening in our world! But it can be even more challenging to bring around positive and empowering change when our thinking is fear-based. I’ve been noticing my anxiety and panic going up when I think too far ahead about this current situation. Maybe you have as well!  

At first I didn’t think much of this new virus. I was one of the people comparing it to the common cold or flu and figured things would blow over. Last week, I was far away on an island in the Bering Sea, where I personally had very little connection to the rest of the world. I couldn’t imagine that things were really shutting down. Everything seemed as usual on the island!

Now, I realize a lot is different and it’s a situation to be taken seriously. But that doesn’t mean it’s a situation that has to be faced with panic and fear. In fact, unless I’m in immediate danger, panic and fear has never really helped me face any situation. It doesn’t help me in the long haul. What helps me instead, is feeling empowered. 

I’ve been hearing from lots of friends and fellow freelancers about the struggles they’re facing in the novel coronavirus pandemic. These are new challenges that need new solutions. We’re stepping out of our normal and into an unknown. It can be hard to think creatively or innovatively when you’re in panic mode. For me, thinking clearly happens when my mind and body is calm. So how can you move away from fear, find inner peace, and allow yourself to feel empowered even in trying and uncertain times?

1.    Give yourself some understanding and acceptance.

Fear is important. It’s a healthy emotion. It’s normal and okay to be scared. So, there’s no need to beat yourself up about your emotions. They’re essential to life. Fear is what tells you to wash your hands – it’s helpful! Where the emotion of fear becomes harmful is when we make decisions solely out of panic. Or even when we freeze up and refuse to make decisions because of our fright. In order to move past fear-based thinking, I usually have to start by saying to myself, “I’m feeling scared.” The acknowledgment really helps. You can’t really deal with something until you accept what it is. 

2.    Breathe – let the fear go.

Now, take a big, deep inhale. Breathe in for as long as you can. Hold for a moment. And exhale absolutely everything out. To me, this is about so much more than calming my mind through deep breaths. It’s also symbolic. The long exhale is about releasing an emotion that isn’t helpful anymore  – an idea my dad is big on. He’s told me for a very long, “Let go of that which no longer serves you.” You’ve acknowledged your fear, appreciated what it’s shown you, and now you let it go! The goal is to move away from fear to make room for a feeling of empowerment.

 3.    Seek out the growth that you can control.

When I feel empowered, I’m focusing on myself and the growth that I can control. Fear can feel so limiting, but the possibility of change is inspiring. Figure out where you would like to grow in the different parts of your life – interpersonal relationships, hobbies, your inner self, business, or work – there are a lot of options. Make a list of areas you’d like to see growth in your life. Curiosity is a great tool for growth. Get curious about yourself, life, community solutions and see where that inquisitiveness can take you. Allowing yourself to feel empowered, even if it’s about something small, can give you an emotional boost to steady yourself on in other areas of your life.

Even if we are feeling nervous, uncertain, or scared, we can turn inwards and move forward. Life is challenging, but it doesn’t have to be faced with fear. If you notice more anxiety in your life, an inability to make decisions, or overwhelming emotions of any kind, then I hope you can take these steps and make a little more room for positive and empowering change in your life, no matter how big or small.

Aerial Photography Tips in Wrangell St. Elias National Park & Preserve

While working at Wrangell St. Elias National Park & Preserve this summer, documenting research and cultural events, one of the amazing things I was able to do was a flightseeing tour! If it hadn’t been for my summer job, I don’t think I would have gotten this chance as soon as I did because the flights are a little pricey for me personally at this point in my life. Luckily, our team leader organized schedules for us to fly with an awesome National Park Service pilot over the mountains and glaciers of Wrangell St. Elias!

Our pilot was the amazing, Lynn Ellis, who grew up in the remote Nabesna area and has been flying pretty much his entire life. At the young age of 16 he learned to fly from his father and has been flying ever since.  As you can imagine, Lynn has a lot of intimate knowledge of the land. Growing up in the area has allowed him to create a unique relationship with the expansive landscape of Wrangell St. Elias, meaning a flight with Lynn as your pilot is quite the treat! To top it all off, one of my coworkers who came on the same flight as me grew up near the area and had known Lynn for a while. If it weren’t already special enough to be gliding over all the magnificent rock and ice, I was also extra fortunate to hear all the personal stories and connections these two had to the land. 

This was the first time I had flown over the park and the first time I was able to casually fly in a small plane, but I had previously flown in a small plane for work. They were very fast, business flights though! Those first couple experiences allowed me to be more prepared for this flight, so I’d thought I’d share some tips in case you too find yourself fortunate enough to be soaring over gorgeous scenery and want to capture your experience.

• Packing: Keep your gear minimal and in a small pack! My first time on a small plane was when I was flying from Yakutat to Dry Bay on a real quick, all business kind of flight. We had to shove everything underneath the plane, but of course I wanted my camera and my water bottle (I hate not having access to hydration, ha). I figured it was best to keep it to these two items and hold them in my lap. Turned out, juggling these both in my lap in the tiny front seat of our plane was a little trickier than I had thought! It would have been nicer to have a small bag or pack with me that I could set in my lap and either pull out my water or my camera when I needed. It can be hard to maneuver once your set up in the plane, so it’s nice to have everything right in your lap and contained so it’s not rolling around as the plane moves. On my flightseeing tour, this is what I did and it was a lot easier to coordinate my items.

• Prepping: Prepare your camera ahead of time! Like I mentioned above, it can be pretty hard to maneuver inside small planes. The first flight I went on I didn’t want to move too much since I was in the front seat and could have easily bumped the pilot or buttons! Granted, pilots are professionals and are probably used to this, my way of operating during photography is always to minimize my affect on the experience. I like being a fly on the wall that captures reality as it unfolds and this idea tends to seep into my life even when not on a shoot. However, if your camera already has a full battery, cleared memory cards with lots of room, and a good lens on it, then you won’t have to worry about doing this in flight. Have it all set up before you even climb in that plane and you can fully focus on taking in the view instead.

• Lens: Choose a wide lens or a zoom lens! I’m really stubborn when it comes to using zoom lens. When shooting portraits it’s super easy to stick a 50mm on my camera and move around when I want a different view. Shooting dynamic landscape photos are a little different though (much to past me’s disappointment). A zoom lens can be wonderful when you are limited in movement, but want a variety of views. On my first flight I brought my trusted 50mm, which did get some beautiful shots. Yet, I found myself wanting the chance to move around. Sure, you will fly over a new and exciting view, but you’ll want a different perspective. For this tour I brought my 28mm to 85mm lens. It was great to get variety, which brings me to my next point…

• Switch it up: Video and photo, wide and close, vertical and horizontal, out the window and inside the plane. Get a bunch of different perspectives even if you are hovering above the same area. It’s been really fun for me to look at my photos as a set and see the different views I captured. I also really like creating films, so I made sure to get lots of video from this flight. I was able to use some of the footage in short videos I made for Wrangell St. Elias National Park & Preserve, that hopefully I will be able to share very soon.

• Finally, don’t lean against the plane! I kept finding myself trying to make this work, but any small plane is going to have a lot of vibration. Your video shots will be a lot smoother and your photos will be sharper if you just hold up your camera yourself. No need to rest against the plane.

There’s the advice I’ve collected from my few times in a small plane. I hope they can be useful to you! These images feel a lot different to me than ones from a drone. Shots sourced from both techniques are gorgeous, and of course it’s not always reasonable to fly up in a small plane, but personally, I love the feel. Maybe it’s the memories they bring back or the glassy view from inside the plane. What are your thoughts? Do these shots feel different to you compared to drone shots? Let me know!

Alaskan Wilderness | Esker Stream in Wrangell St. Elias National Park & Preserve

“Alaska is already more amazing than I could have imagined. I really don’t know what I expected. A lot of wilderness for sure, but the people I’ve met, the thoughts they’ve shared with me, the magic of nature dripping everywhere I turn, the traces of creation and destruction with each step, is all beyond the idea of wilderness I had prior to coming here. The wilderness I have found here is a deep connection and respect between all living things. The idea that we are a part of a larger and very necessary ecosystem is ever apparent. I can see where I’ve come from, the people and history that have led up to me, and my respect grows bigger and bigger with the more I unearth. Lives here are so deeply intertwined with the land that wilderness doesn’t just mean nature, but people as well. So, if we want to protect the land, then we want to protect the people and their identities too. These are all ideas I had before and yet somehow they seem so distant when I reflect back just a few months. These Alaskan identities have also taught me about mine. We are all wild things too, but for so long I was taught that I’m to be tame. Now here I am; a tame thing grown wild in a matter of weeks.”

Reading my own past writings I go through an array of emotion: embarrassment to inspiration. It can be a bit painful to poke through old thoughts, especially my handwritten ones. They tend to be more free flowing attempts to wan poetically and unapologetically.  A version of me that can be hard to keep up with sometimes, but probably the part of me I owe for all my goals and aspirations and the motivation to live them into reality! I thought I might share this piece edited, but I decided that anything other than my original thoughts wouldn’t paint the lovely picture that once I can get pass the pure mortification of whimsical, past Ali, I can soak in and mull over the tidbits of wisdom.

When I came to Alaska, I already had an understanding of wilderness and our connection to it. These were ideas I read, thought, and wrote about often. If I had ever read a rambling such as the one above while I was back in Arizona I would have rolled my eyes. “You go to “The Last Frontier” and think the rest of us don’t understand these concepts? These are ideas that touch all of us!” And it’s true. The concept of nature, wilderness, and our connections to them are everywhere. Hiding in little pockets of our communities we wouldn’t even think to consider! I would have hated to think that the wilderness in Alaska was any more special than the wilderness people can find in the city. I still won’t say it is either. It is different though! There is a different type of special found in Alaskan wilderness than the special in places I visited back home. Not better in my mind, but definitely different. It’s this difference that allowed me to view things in a new light. 

A lot of people have a very specific definition of wilderness. Merriam-Webster defines wilderness as: “an area essentially undisturbed by human activity together with its naturally developed life community”.  In The Wilderness Act of 1964, our nation went even further to lay out the meaning of this word, which you can read here if you’d like. But most of us have our own personal meaning of wilderness. Proper definitions fall to the wayside when it comes to our intimate relationships with the world. At first, being surrounded by people who had what appeared to be a stricter version of wild meant frustrating to me. It seemed to leave out others who experienced the same kind of natural magic and inspiration in the outdoors simply because what they had access to was a smaller and different space. However, when I realized that people were included in this version of wilderness things began to click for me in a new way. The standard definition, and even our nation’s version of wilderness, doesn’t include people. We are the opposite of wilderness in these definitions! In Alaska though, it seemed many people saw that wilderness was reflected in them. This beautiful idea of humans being a part of the landscape stretched my idea of conservation. If we are to preserve the land, than we are to preserve people too. We have to care and tend to the various human communities we’re surrounded by. And not just the ones whose ties to the land we can clearly see.

The lovely truth is this: we all have ties to the land. Whether we choose to see and understand those ties or not, every person has a personal connection with the land. So many of us have deep, intimate relationships with the same land too, we all begin to overlap. Conservation is not simply about landscapes, but the other people who find a piece of themselves in those landscapes too. It’s not enough to care for the environment. We must also open up our ideas of wilderness and preservation to include those outside of our current grasp of the earth.

When I think about wilderness, I think about all the people connected to that idea as well. I remember that even though it means something different to us all, even different from the traditional definitions, all our experiences deserved to be heard and respected still. I realize that my idea of conservation isn’t just about preaching my thoughts and practices, but actually about listening to gain a better understanding of our communities. What does wilderness mean to you and how does it manifest in your life?

Liberty Falls Trail | BLM Hike

“That was the turn,” Noelle pointed to the right as I drove straight down the narrow, two-lane road in front of us. We were headed to Liberty Falls trail to squeeze in the shortest of backpacking trips. Just a few days prior our trio, Noelle, Brandon, and I, had realized we all were off on Tuesday and, out of a mutual desire to get out of Boxtown (our park housing) for any amount of time and into the wildness of Alaska, we decided the shortest length of backpacking would suffice, even one with a rather late start. So, on Monday evening after work, we packed up our bags, ate a quick dinner, and drove east towards Chitina.

Brandon genuinely loves nature.

Juniper!

Juniper!

Almost stumbling off the edge and being rescued by Noelle.

Great timing.

“Oh well, you can pull through the next campground and circle around,” Noelle finished her thought as our car drove further away from the missed turn. After a quick loop around to get us back in the right direction, we pulled up to a tiny dirt lot at the trailhead of Liberty Falls. We hopped out of the car, strapped on our packs, and headed towards the small path through the forest, our watches showing just a bit past 7:30pm. We hoped to stretch our legs as much as we could before our bodies grew sleepy.

Of course Noelle and I immediately noticed a welcome sign, complete with a trail log, and excitedly hurried over to write our names down. Brandon muttered a question about why there were so many trail logs in Alaska, but we couldn’t be bothered to slow down our enthusiasm for the few sheets of paper, scribbled on by so many different travellers who wished to share their thoughts. Somehow the two of us managed to get Brandon to write his zip code on the log, no matter how begrudgingly. With much consideration, Noelle and I decided it would be best to fill out the rest of the log at the end of our trip. We would have more information then anyways and the rushing sounds of water crashing down Liberty Falls were calling us to move closer!

At this point, a steady and consistent sprinkling of rain was softly patting down on top of our heads. Our rain jackets sheltered us from becoming too wet, but there wasn’t much that could protect me from the small beads of sweat forming on my body from all the uphill hiking! I could feel my clothes growing damper and cooler under the shell of my raincoat. Stepping up on to rocks and gnarled tree roots that had began to form stairs from all the human traffic coming in and out of the pathway, we climbed higher and higher through the woods. Stopping to catch our breath, we noticed Liberty Falls had become a small, distant line down below. We quietly appreciated its beauty while miming intense panting to one another in acknowledgment of how steep the walk was for all of us. Even in the distance, the crashing of the water could still be heard as we turned forward, heading off further down the trail.

The uphill climb leveled out onto a cliff and our conversations picked up, as the three of us found it easier to breath. Topics came and went faster than we could walk as we all piped up with our thoughts. John Muir, places we’ve been, names we wished we had, and our adventures in dating all passed through our discussion alongside lots of laughter. Eventually, where we would set up our campsite started to come into question. We really didn’t want to sleep on any rocks. The edge of the cliff we were on now didn’t seem too safe.  Yet, we had walked upon a stunning bluff view of a lake below and the Copper River to our right. Safety and comfort or a great view? The former seemed to take precedent (hmmmm…) and we trudged along in search of a suitable spot to sleep. The path curved away from the cliff, bringing us back down into the boreal forest, wet and awake from the rainfall. Making note of potential campsites, we followed the twists and turns through the trees until we noticed we had almost reached the lake we saw earlier from the cliff. There’s nothing like running out of options to force you into making a decision! We turned back around and picked the first fluffy moss bed we made note of on our hike.

Ready for some snacks and a beer, we quickly set up our tents. Noelle typically gets to share a tent with me on any camping trips and unfortunately for her I had never dried mine out from a past trip in Yakutat. Oops… She looked at me with some disappointment, but luckily we found a bandana and I dried up the bottom of the tent for our sleeping bags. Phew! The satisfaction of a job well done seemed more complete with the Alaskan Brewing Co. bottles we packed in. Yet, there was no bottle opener. An item you really don’t need when Noelle is around. She popped the caps off with a nearby rock and we found shelter under a spruce tree to relax. We laughed about whether or not bears would be intrigued by the remnants of beer on a bottle and stuffed our food and trash in our bear bin, which was safely tucked away at the feet of some trees many yards away from our tents. Then I promptly fell asleep! However, the bright midnight sun woke me up every few hours with the fear that it was already time to get up. Each time I’d look at my watch, smile, and snuggle back down into my sleeping bag with much satisfaction until around 9am. Late mornings have their place. We all packed up and headed back down the trail to the car.

Although we didn’t spot any wildlife, there’s still something equally as thrilling about watching drops of water catch on leaves, grow bigger, and roll off as they get too heavy. My heart still swells at the uproarious sound of moving water and the sight of distant trees, so small and miniscule like a toy town. The moisture in the air refreshes the plants, the soil, and from the echoes of all the chirping and singing overhead, I would guess the birds too. And even me. It doesn’t really matter the amount of time for my visit, immersing myself in nature always puts a new spin on things. It gently reminds me of my abilities, my dreams, and my control I have over my own life. So, no matter the length, I’ll always be up for a backpacking trip through the woods.